


Tumblr Drabbles

by bubblebangbaby



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Near Death Experience, Pining, amamiya ren used for protag name, mostly pegoryu with some kitaryu, useless bisexual akiren strikes again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22391824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblebangbaby/pseuds/bubblebangbaby
Summary: nothin' to see here, folks. these are just the various askmeme drabbles i posted on tumblr back when it was still relevant. :| collected here so i can find 'em again.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	1. we’re not just friends and you fucking know it.

It’s wearing him thin, and he’s about to snap. Every self-pitying complaint, every rush to ambush a new girl that catches his eye, the increasing desperation of it all. Like Ryuji can’t think of a worse fate than spending this trip with just him; he’s gotta have a girl-shaped buffer between them and literally anyone will do. Ryuji darts off for the nth time, and Akira starts to wonder if he has time to make it into the water to drown himself while his best friend is distracted.

Best friend. Tch. Sure.

> **Ren:** I should’ve gone with you instead
> 
> **Ann:** told you
> 
> **Ren:** I might kill him
> 
> **Ren:** mishima too. especially mishima
> 
> **Ann:** god I know right? I was trying sooooo hard to set that up for you last night and he just…
> 
> **Ren:** puked all over the chance? And the floor? And me?
> 
> **Ann:** LOL oh my god
> 
> **Ren:** oh hey, he’s dragged mishima off to hit up a girl who looks like she could bench press them both. let’s see how this plays out!
> 
> **Ann:** Send me video if she does omg
> 
> **Ann:** and her number
> 
> **Ren:** gay
> 
> **Ann:** oh look who’s talking mr “wah help me ann i’m pining over an oblivious twunk you’re my only hope”
> 
> **Ren:** point

Ryuji and Mishima come back up then, looking dejected. Ren carefully suppresses a smirk. “Any luck?”

“No luck… man, American girls are so effin’ _rude_.” He’s kicking at the sand, grimacing. Ren bites his tongue.

“Can we like… go back and get a burger, guys?” Mishima asks with that kicked-puppy look he gets when he’s disappointed.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Ren cuts in before Ryuji can say anything. At least food will be a tasty distraction.

> **Ren:** thank god that’s over
> 
> **Ann:** no one got thrown like a javelin?
> 
> **Ren:** tragically no, but I have a burger to ease my sadness
> 
> **Ann:** well I got good news for you buddy
> 
> **Ren:** there’s an asteroid coming to kill us all?
> 
> **Ann:** Good god Ren
> 
> **Ann:** no, I ran into ryuji’s roommate’s girlfriend’s roommate
> 
> **Ren:** man door car door hook hand?
> 
> **Ann:** Shut uuuuup
> 
> **Ann:** no, she was bitching that her roommate was planning on sneaking her boyfriend in tonight
> 
> **Ann:** you have an in, and you owe me a favor
> 
> **Ren:** goddamn
> 
> **Ren:** I will be your crepe dispenser from now on just say the word
> 
> **Ann:** i’m holding you to that
> 
> Later that night, he tunes out Mishima’s complaining to keep an eye on his phone.
> 
> **Ann:** Looks like you’re on, because Sakiko’s in my room bitching her head off
> 
> **Ren:** so many crepes, Ann. I promise
> 
> **Ann:** don’t get caught
> 
> **Ren:** who’s the head thief in charge here, c’mon

“Uh oh… Speaking of Ryuji, looks like he’s gotten sick too. I’m gonna go check on him.” Mishima looks alarmed, mouth clicking shut mid-sentence.

“Oh no, should we get one of the chaperons or something? That really sucks…” Ren looks at him pointedly.

“Would you have wanted us to drag Kawakami in here last night?”

“Oh. Geez. Yeah, no… that’s…”

“Yeah. If anyone asks, I went to get ice and got lost.”

“Ok, yeah… Don-don’t get caught, ok?” Ren gives him another look before slipping out of the room, grabbing the ice bucket on his way.

When he gets to Ryuji’s door, he has to stop and breathe for a second before knocking. This is gonna end badly. There’s no way around it. But at least it’ll be better than this gut-wrenching limbo hell. Like ripping off a bandaid, just gotta do it and move on. He knocks on the door.

“Ugh, did you forget your k—oh shit, hey Renren!”

“…Room service?” He smirks wide and tries to look nonchalant, confident. He thinks he might be failing. Ryuji grabs him by the arm and hauls him into the room.

“Dude, what are you doin’ here?”

“Heard your roommate ditched, thought you might want company.”

“Pfft…! So you ditched Mishima instead?” he crows, laughing. Ren’s laughing too as he takes a seat on one of the beds. “S’cool, though, I’d rather hang out with you anytime.” Oh, _ouch._ Ren’s not laughing any more.

“Ah… I’m glad…” he manages to croak out. Ryuji doesn’t seem to notice how his words twisted the knife in Ren’s guts, just flops down on the other bed and stretches.

“Guuhhhh. This’s been _such_ a shitty trip, man.” _Don’t say it, Ren. Don’t fucking say it…_

“Well, maybe if we’d done anything but chase after girls on the beach, it would’ve been more fun…” _Goddamn it._ Ryuji’s sitting up, looking miffed. Can’t avoid the conversation now…

“Huh? What’re you even talkin’ about?” Ren sets his teeth, shifts a little to try to hide behind his hair.

“Mm. We could have been swimming or something instead, that’s all,” he mumbles, sighing to himself.

“Uh, yeah, and not even _try_ to get a date? You kidding, dude?” Ren flops down to stare at the ceiling instead of having to avoid Ryuji’s eyes. “I mean, like… What’s the point of bein’ on a fancy trip with no girlfriend?”

“Why so obsessed, anyway? Besides, you know, the obvious. ‘Cause it’s not like any of us have the time to commit to anyone, with all the Thieves business.” Rational, there we go. Logical arguments, pin him down without making it weird. He can hear Ryuji sigh from the other side of the room, low and defeated.

“I just… it’d be nice to have like… someone impressed by all this shit I’m—we’re doin’. Thinks I’m cool and cute and—and wants t’ hang out with me and shit.” His voice is weirdly small, and so sad. Ren’s heart does a flip inside him.

“I want to hang out with you.” _And there you go, you made it weird, idiot._ But Ryuji just laughs, rolls over to look at him.

“Always got my back, huh? I’m real glad we’re friends.” Something inside Ren is screaming, and looking over to meet Ryuji’s eyes makes it scream louder. _We’re not just fucking friends and you know it you idiot you oblivious dipshit you… oh fuck…_ He’s smiling and it’s sad and sweet and genuine all at once, and Ren can’t tell if he wants to jump him or jump out the window.

“Ah… Yeah. Yeah, I am too.” Ren turns over too, faces him. He can feel the same sad smile on his own lips. He can’t seem to say much else.

> **Ann:** Well? WELL?
> 
> **Ren:** …I’ll still buy you crepes.
> 
> **Ann:** You are the most useless gay since me, I swear to god.


	2. do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?

“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now?”

It takes Yusuke’s breath away for a second, and Ryuji doesn’t even seem to notice. He’s all flushed cheeks and sunshine smile, arms draped over Yusuke’s shoulders, so close, so _close_ that the heat of his skin burns into him, his breath cutting across his cheek sharp and bright.

Does he know? Has he known the whole time? Does he know how hard and desperately he longed for him during that surreal year in high school when they were legends, gods and monsters, shrieking fireworks burning away the bonds of a city’s soul? Did he realize at some point, that his boundless, indiscriminate affection had burned its way through carefully-fortified walls in Yusuke’s heart? Did he realize it before Yusuke himself did, and simply chose to ignore it? Or is this simply a fluke, a graduation-night whim borne of giddy relief and a scant cup of purloined sake?

Ryuji bursts out laughing, so hard he has to drop his head onto Yusuke’s shoulder and grab onto him to keep from losing his balance. “Hah, I’m sorry man, I’ll take that as a no… shit, sorry dude…”

Those warm arms unwind from around his shoulders and Ryuji pulls away, shaking his head sheepishly, still grinning. Yusuke feels his jaw snap shut, an involuntarily little sound escaping him as he pulls his friend back in for a kiss.


	3. things you said when you were scared

“Tch. I ain’t scared.”

“ _Ryuji_.” Ann grabs his knee and holds it still. “You’re bouncing your leg so hard I think the table’s moved halfway across the room by now.” His other leg starts to jitter. She grabs that one too. He has _got_ to stop this, it’s making her anxious too.

“Okay, jeez, leggo my knees.”

She does, but pins him down with a hard stare instead. “ _Seriously_ , though.”

Ryuji sprawls back against the bench, draping his arms over the back of it like he could use it to hold himself in place, like it’s the only thing keeping him from vibrating out of existence. He stares up at the train station ceiling, not meeting Ann’s eyes.

“S’just…” he starts, but finds he doesn’t really know what to say. “I dunno. He’s been gone a long time, y’know?” Ann huffs out a little sound and pulls her knees up to her chest.

“Yeah… I mean, he was just here last summer, and it’s not like he’s not in the group chat all the time… But yeah.”

“It ain’t the same.”

“Yeah…” He moves to lean over his knees and stare off into the middle distance, still not looking at Ann. He looks so serious, and it’s an unsettling look for him. He’s never this serious.

“Coming back for good… It’s gonna be different. And I’m not… we’re all not, ugh, I don’t know.” He’s outright grumbling now, squeezing his hands together like he might squeeze the juice out of these hard-shelled feelings, taste what they’re supposed to be and make it all make sense. Ann just twists a bit of her hair and stays quiet, letting him stumble toward it. “We’re all, like, different now, a little bit. He’s gotta be, too. Maybe he doesn’t want me—uh, want me to be around so much, or whatever. Doesn’t want… stuff to be like it was.”

Ann smirks and smacks him on the shoulder. “Ryuji Sakamato, are you actually _overthinking_ something for once in your life?”

“Hey, I was bein’ serious!”

“I know.” She rubs a reassuring little circle into the spot she slapped. “Just… don’t worry so much, ok?”

There’s a tinny announcement from the speakers overhead, and just like that, it’s time.

When they manage to make it to the platform, swimming upstream through the crowds, he’s already there. Suitcase in tow and Morgana climbing his shoulder, stock still with the crowd parting around them on their way, looking just as collected and just as out of place as he always does. Just like old times.

The glasses are gone, and his hair’s a little longer, pulled back in a dumb little ponytail Ann can already feel herself itching to roast him for. He’s still wearing that ugly blazer, but with nicer jeans this time.

And when he finally spots them, his eyes light up neon bright and a flicker of that old Joker grin crosses his face, and he’s rushing in to pull Ryuji into a hug first, to kiss the side of his head obnoxiously and make him blush and sputter while the not-a-cat complains loudly, just like old times. Ann laughs so hard her side starts to hurt and she has to turn her attempt at a group hug into a grab for support. Nothing’s the same. Everything’s the same.

She’s not sure, now, why they were even scared.


	4. things you said with no space between us

“–e on me, Fox! Fox, goddamn it, wake up wake _up_!”  
“Mona, gimme a–”  
“–to stop the bleeding till we can–”  
“–out of everything–”   
“Stay with me, man, just stay with me, please please just look at me, ok, look at me…”

The world is black and blood red and grey around the edges, but that voice… He holds onto that voice like a leaking life preserver in the ocean. Someone’s close, picking him up…? Familiar. Warm. Smell of leather and sweat and something sweet—Ryuji’s soap, his skin, the touch of his hands. Yusuke closes his eyes. Ryuji’s here. That’s fine, then. Everything will be fine.

“Hey, Fox. Hey, _hey_. God, please… just stay with me, ok? Stay with me, we’re almost here, open your eyes, come on now, please…”

Ryuji’s upset about something…? He’s so _tired_. But he tries to open his eyes. For Ryuji. They’re in… Mona? Crammed in the front seat, so close he’s breathing in his breath as he exhales. Front seat? Someone’s pressing against his hip, whoever’s driving… Makoto? Someone else’s hands are on him, tight around his abdomen, pressing liquid pain into him. Moving to look hurts too much.

“God, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, Fox, just stay awake, ok? Stay awake, we’re almost out of here. God, _fuck_. _Please_ …” Why is Ryuji so upset? Is he crying? Ah, but it hurts to try to talk, to ask why. Almost there, then. Okay. Through the hazy pain clouding his mind, something in him seems to scream back, demand he comfort him, stop his distress. He shouldn’t be crying. Not right. Screaming pain jolts him when he tries to shift. Can’t lean up to kiss him, ok. He can be patient. Other voices are frantic in the distance, but it probably doesn’t matter. His cheek is pressed against Ryuji’s neck and he can feel his heartbeat fluttering against his skin. That’s good. That’s a much nicer thing to focus on. He’s right here.

Yusuke sighs out a long breath, and lets himself fall asleep.

“–out of Mementos, it can’t–”  
“–aled up, he ought to be ok now, right?”  
“–n’t know how this works, really, it could–”   
“Yusuke, please… c’mon, man, please…”

Waking up feels like a blow to the face. Too bright. Too loud. Someone’s arms around him, hands on his face, close, too close to breathe. He cracks one eye back open slowly and can only see Ryuji’s face in his line of vision, wide-eyed and terrified.

“What… happened…?” There’s another explosion of squabble, everyone talking all at once, and he can’t parse any of it. He remembers Mementos, an ambush, far too many of those shadows in the guise of Egyptian gods… and not much else.

He opens his eyes properly. He’s in Ryuji’s lap, it seems, and his shaking arms are so tight around him he couldn’t move if he wanted. His anguished face is close enough to kiss.

“Don’t you _ever_ effin’ do that to me again, ok?”


	5. things you said at one in the morning

> **Renren (1:04 AM):** I don’t think I can do this, Ryu
> 
> **Ryuji (1:04 AM):** huh??? shit, what’s wrong?
> 
> _Renren is typing_
> 
> **Renren (1:09 AM):** Everything? Nothing? No, everything. I fucking hate it here. I can’t stand it
> 
> **Ryuji (1:09 AM):** shit dude
> 
> **Ryuji (1:10 AM):** gimme a sec, I’ll facetime ya
> 
> **Renren (1:10 AM):** Please don’t
> 
> **Ryuji (1:11 AM):** ok… but you’re kinda scaring me
> 
> **Renren (1:12 AM):** Sorry
> 
> **Ryuji (1:12 AM):** don’t be sorry
> 
> **Ryuji (1:13 AM):** hometown life’s that bad, huh?
> 
> **Renren (1:14 AM):** Yeah
> 
> _Renren is typing…_
> 
> **Renren (1:22 AM):** It’s worse than it used to be. Nothings the same. Or maybe I’m not the same.
> 
> **Renren (1:25 AM):** I thought I’d be ok with no one talking to me like I’m used to that by now but its getting ridiculous
> 
> **Renren (1:26 AM):** I tried to get a snack at the junes and the cashier wouldn’t even look at me. it was Yuki-chan, I’ve known her since first grade and she wouldn’t even look at me
> 
> **Ryuji (1:27 AM):** fuck, man…
> 
> **Renren (1:29 AM):** Maybe I actually died back in december and I’ve been a ghost this whole time lol
> 
> **Ryuji (1:30 AM):** nah, man, nah. you were alive till at least march cuz what you did to me the night you left was real as hell
> 
> **Ryuji (1:31 AM):** pretty sure u rearranged my spine
> 
> **Renren (1:31 AM):** Heh
> 
> **Renren (1:31 AM):** That was fun
> 
> **Renren (1:33 AM):** I miss you
> 
> **Ryuji (1:34 AM):** I miss you too. so freakin much.
> 
> **Ryuji (1:35 AM):** ain’t long till summer. heard boss finally put a real bed in the attic for when you come back down
> 
> **Renren (1:36 AM):** Speaking of rearranged spines
> 
> **Ryuji (1:36 AM):** lol right???
> 
> **Ryuji (1:36 AM):** dunno how you survived that crate situation
> 
> **Renren (1:37 AM):** Willpower. And coffee
> 
> **Renren (1:37 AM):** Should let you get some sleep, though, sorry for that
> 
> **Ryuji (1:38 AM):** it’s cool
> 
> **Ryuji (1:38 AM):** sure you’re ok?
> 
> **Renren (1:39 AM):** Yeah. Thank you
> 
> **Renren (1:40 AM):** Night, Ryu. I love you
> 
> **Ryuji (1:40 AM):** love you too

Ryuji stares at his phone and wills himself not to fling it across the room. Freaking small-town asshole hicks. They don’t deserve him. He pulls up the browser and checks the train schedules for Friday afternoon. _If they’re gonna be like that, let’s give ‘em something to really look at, Ren._


	6. things you said under the stars and in the grass

“Damn, it’s noisy out here.” Ren looks up from where he’s curled against Ryuji’s chest, watches him watching the sky, starlight faintly outlining the angles of his face and reflecting in his eyes. He’s right. The night air is filled with all kinds of sound: screeching frogs and crickets, the distant lowing of cattle, a brief but spectacular cat fight, dogs barking at each other across the fields like drunks yelling across a bar.

“Mm. Everyone thinks the country’s like a zen temple or something. Nature’s loud.” He snuggles back down, butting at his boyfriend’s chin like a cat. Ryuji just laughs and runs a hand through his hair, scratching at his scalp just right. Ren melts into it.

“No people sounds, though. ‘S’nice. Different.”

“Yeah. Nearest neighbors are 20 kilometers away,” Ren mumbles into the side of Ryuji’s neck. “We could fuck right here and no one would know.” He grins against warm skin, expecting to get swatted for the suggestion, even if he is joking. Instead, Ryuji goes still and quiet. Ren can feel his skin heating under his cheek, and he nuzzles him again.

“You’d um… You—you sound pretty sure about that, dude…” Ren grins and rolls so he’s on top of him, leaning over so he can touch his forehead to his boyfriend’s. Even in the near-dark, he can see the flush on his cheeks and the way his lips are parted expectantly.

“Hey, country boys gotta make do.” Ryuji really does swat him for that, and he laughs, shuts him up with a quick kiss. “So, did you know… in pagan Europe, they’d send couples out into the fields in the spring, as a fertility rite.” His tone is breezy, innocent, like he’s just relaying a fun fact instead of not-so-subtly suggesting they have sex right here, on an old quilt laid out in a fallow field, under the watch of the stars and god and everyone. He can hear Ryuji swallow, feel the little extra warmth so close to his own mouth when he licks his lips.

“Fertility rite, huh?” Fingertips slip lightly under Ren’s shirt, and he shivers. “Guess I can’t argue with that…”

The stars are so bright, so far from the city, and they hang so low, so close. If something extra happened to be added to the cacophony of nature that night, only the stars would know.


End file.
